The Wizard of Lawz: Libretto and Songs

Abstract

THE WIZARD OF LAWZ was written and produced outdoors under a big tent in celebration of the University of Houston Law Center’s Fiftieth Anniversary. It’s the saga of a little girl from Alvin, Texas, determined to better her lot in life by entering . . . the fellowship of the law!

We first meet Dorothy in the suburban, rural, flat Gulf Coastal plain of Southeast Texas, far from the nation’s fourth largest city, Houston.

Dorothy is mulling how to escape her humdrum existence to fulfill her lifelong dream of becoming a lawyer in a place where things are better: where she can learn and grow, blossom and flower, actualize her potential!

It’s a place far, far away: beyond the moon, beyond the stars . . . across the Nolan Ryan Expressway. (Yes, Houston has one.)

To reach the promised land of law practice, Dorothy must survive three years in the wretched waste land of law school—a place with questions in the air but answers no professors share, etc. We all know that place.

Finally, after three years of trials and travails, Dorothy achieves her goal and gains a law degree!

Here is the smashing finale of the show, sung by 800 members of the cast and crew, the student body, and University of Houston Law Center alums:

SOMEWHERE OUT IN THE REAL WORLD
(to the tune of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow")

Somewhere out in the real world,
Bye and bye.
Far from Law Center bunkers,
Up in my penthouse high!

Somewhere out in the real world,
Far away.
No more faculty b--- s---,
Goodbye, low GPA!

Someday when I have passed the bar,
I'll wake up with that nightmare far behind me.
Where partners raise my share each year,
And ev'ry client's full of cheer,
That's where you'll find me!

Somewhere out in the real world,
Pots of gold.
Wish all my profs could see me,
Mixon, Buchanan, Olds!

I don't miss school, I cannot lie.
Goodbye to all that --
REAL WORLD … here … am … I !!!

As a bonus for the audience, the Dean of the Law Center was cast as the Strawman and thus induced to sing the immortal line: “If I only had a Brain . . .”

Keywords: Legal profession, lawyers, law students, law professors, The Wizard of Lawz, The Wizard of Oz, Dorothy, Toto, Glinda, Strawman, Tin Man, Cowardly Lion, Wicked Witch